13 Points of Weird Scout Law

A weird scout is curious. Curiosity is what sets enterprising young girls, boys, and shadow-children apart from the grey and blistered masses that huddle silently in the wastes. The tendency to ask questions, to seek answers, and to fail to accept most of the first several answers received may annoy those whom you encounter, but will aid you in your survival and ascension to divinity.

A weird scout is cautious. Many dangers exist in the pursuit of weird scouting, not least of which may be weird scouts themselves. Caution should not overpower bravery or tenacity, but should at the very least elicit a vague feeling of unease most of the time. This is perfectly normal, as anxiety is a key indicator of progress within weird scouting.

A weird scout is enchanting. By the virtues of the American language, to be enchanting no longer must requires that one actually  weave a spell out of the ley-threads that tie the physical and spirit worlds together. No, “enchantment” also carries a second meaning, which is that an individual is so captivating and thrilling to meet that acquaintances cannot help but stay for just one more story. We leave it up to you to decide which definition most applies to the Weird Scouts of America.

A weird scout is fiery. Fire is the favorite element of many of the ghouls and goblins that stalk the shadowy places of this world, and a complete knowledge of it allows  the enterprising scout access to their feasting-tables.

A weird scout is watery. Like fire, water is preferred by a slew of the creatures you will encounter in your adventures. Additionally, to be watery means that the fiery portions of your training as a weird scout will be less potentially harmful.

A weird scout is shadowy. In the shadows lie our most powerful secrets, and as a weird scout comes more and more into contact with such secrets, it is foolish to think that he/she/it will not begin to adopt certain characteristics of that dark place. It is a charming transformation, and perfectly natural.

A weird scout is inventive. Even the best scouts will not always know the perfect way to track a money-mouse or levitate an oddly-shaped fragment of obsidian. Sometimes, the tools are not available because they have not been invented. Invention is the practical application of creativity.

A weird scout is passionate. You don’t survive long in this organization without caring deeply about the mysteries of the void, deeply enough to immerse yourself in energies you cannot ever understand. Should your passion begin to flag, consider a position as a receipt-back poet.

A weird scout is powerful. There are many forms of power: physical, emotional, mental, metallurgical, divinical, telescopic, rhythmic, gaseous, animalistic, normal, paranormal, metaphysical, botanical, radial, and astral. A weird scout is expected to possess all of the above.

A weird scout is dangerous. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that the subjects of our study are dangerous, and we, as good weird scouts, must respond to danger in kind. Weird scouts are not dangerous to know, but rather, are ready to counteract danger with some danger of our own. We are, perhaps, the inverse of dangerous. We are suoregnad.

A weird scout is sideways. As we have no way of knowing true, universal up and down, accepting our probable sidewaysness is among the first steps on the path of weird scouting. We cannot always know where we are, or what position our bodies are currently taking, much as we cannot know for sure that this whole universe hasn’t just been created as some strange experiment that went on for far too long. This, too, must be accepted as a weird scout.

A weird scout is puzzling. To meet someone who has plucked the resonant f-sharp string of the universe, trapped a lemon piglet in a flask, and chanted with six voices is a strange thing for most to experience. Weird scouts are expected to cultivate their unknowability so as to protect secrets and discourage frivolous inspection.

A weird scout is wise. Truly great scouts learn to control themselves such that their energy is turned primarily toward the acquisition of weird knowledge. While it may be easier and more immediately fulfilling to use our learnings to usher in a new world order, we trust that our scouts are wise enough to follow only the limited and often unclear instructions of the Council of Owls, who protect the balance of the wastes. Or so they say.


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